Here is the scenario:
You have next week off. You combined a few vacation days with a couple of holiday days to create 9 days off, counting the weekends on both sides. Today is Friday, and relief is in sight. Regardless of your life circumstances, a welcome interruption of the daily routine lays gloriously before you.
Depending on your life circumstances, certain people may come into or go out of your life…
PEOPLE COMING IN
child comes in from former spouse
family from afar
(fill in your own)
PEOPLE GOING OUT
child goes to former spouse
(fill in your own)
FACTORS COMING IN
recalling what you wish to attend to
FACTORS GOING OUT
reminders of limitations
being at work
packing lunches, setting an alarm
from drive to park,
without even first decreasing our speed.
Neurotic Day -- the day following four or five days of listening to other voices out in the world, while working to be a productive citizen and contribute to the common good;
Involves self-doubt, fatigue, lack of direction;
Looks like laziness, wandering around;
Feels like discontentment, fear, dissatisfaction, discouragement
Last month, the Neurotic Day within a weekend was the focus. In this segment, the Neurotic Day is within a vacation when combined with a holiday. This calls for additional symptoms, which may include:
Missing the child from whom you looked forward to being temporarily relieved;
Realizing the disappointment that maybe there isn’t enough time to start and complete the things you couldn’t wait to get to “during vacation;”
Learning someone else already had an agenda for you
A commonly quoted truth is, “Nature abhors a vacuum.” We don’t know what to do with ourselves. And oh yeah, we may look around and notice our living environment needs all kinds of attention. We can hear the painful sound of gears grinding. We hurk and jerk, then either stop or keep grinding. Meanwhile we ask ourselves, by the way, “Can’t you please hurry up and relax? Why can’t you be happy?” We may accuse ourselves critically with statements like, “You are ruining your vacation!” Or, “If you are going to be miserable, you might as well be at work, getting PAID.”
How will you come out of the hurking and jerking? Will your engine die? Will you disregard the transmission grinding until you find a gear, ANY gear, that will take you out of this awful place? Or did you plan for this?
Can you recall that your foot must come off of the accelerator in order to sequentially downshift?
...if we aren’t going to turn to chemicals for assistance!
OF COURSE you are questioning!
Ahhh, that is self-talk that feels different.
Of course you don’t know what to do with yourself. You have been working! And, you have been giving to that child, and that one. And to that relationship. And maybe to aging parents too.
Sit down. Take a breath. Let the questions come. The reminders, disappointing as they may be, come to say that this time is limited, and so you too have human limitations and might not get the fence stained, or the photos framed.
Are you looking forward to going back to work yet?!
Nah, this is just the Neurotic day… a necessary part of adjusting to so many changes at once. The kinder we can be to ourselves, the fewer hours this has to take. This is your chance to cry while missing a loved one, to put your projects back into a stack, and sigh at the chores coming into view…